Funeral flowers - what to send, when and where
Wreath, casket spray, sheaf or a sympathy bouquet to the home? Here is the whole picture: what is appropriate from whom, what "family flowers only" means, what to write on the card, when to order and how to send flowers to a funeral anywhere in the UK.
Sending flowers when someone dies is a way of saying goodbye and of letting the family know you are thinking of them, even if you cannot be there. It can feel overwhelming in the middle of grief, but it really comes down to three questions: who were you to the person who died, where should the flowers go (the service or the home) and how much do you want to spend. We walk you through the rest below. The golden rule: read the funeral notice first and follow whatever the family has asked for.
Four kinds of funeral and sympathy flowers - which is right for you?
Flowers around a funeral fall into four broad types. They differ in size, in who traditionally sends them and in where they go. In the uk, funeral tributes for the service are usually arranged through the funeral director or a local florist, while sympathy flowers to the home can be ordered online for delivery.
Sympathy flowers
A hand-tied bouquet in whites or soft tones, delivered to the family's home in the days or weeks after the death. The most personal gesture, and the right choice when the notice says "family flowers only". This is what you can order here.
From about £25 View sympathy bouquets →
Sheaf, posy or tied bouquet
A flat sheaf or tied bouquet laid by the coffin at the service, with a card. Sent by friends, neighbours, colleagues and extended family. Arranged with the funeral director or a local florist near the venue.
Via the funeral director How to arrange it, below →
Casket or coffin spray
The large, flat arrangement that lies on the closed coffin. Almost always chosen by the immediate family, often together. Sometimes accompanied by lettered tributes such as "MUM" or "DAD".
Via the funeral director How to arrange it, below →
Wreath
The classic round wreath, a symbol of eternity. Sent by family, employers, clubs and groups who club together, and placed around the coffin at the service.
Via the funeral director How to arrange it, below →Who sends what? A rule of thumb
| You are ... | Most common | Where |
|---|---|---|
| Immediate family (partner, children, siblings) | Casket spray, lettered tribute or wreath - usually chosen together | The service |
| Extended family | Wreath, sheaf or posy with a card | The service |
| Friend or neighbour | Sheaf or tied bouquet at the service, or a sympathy bouquet to the home. Many also lay a single rose on the coffin | Service or home |
| Employer, club, colleagues | Wreath or large sheaf with a card from the group | The service |
| Cannot attend | A tribute at the service via the funeral director, plus sympathy flowers to the home | Both |
How to arrange funeral tributes for the service
In the UK, tributes for the service itself - wreaths, casket sprays, sheafs, posies and lettered tributes - are normally arranged with the funeral director named in the notice or with a florist near the venue, and delivered on the morning of the funeral. Our partner florist specialises in hand-tied bouquets by post rather than funeral tributes, so for the service we recommend the funeral director or a local florist. For sympathy flowers to the home, the most personal gesture and the right one when the notice says "family flowers only", you can order here for next-day delivery.
When should flowers be sent?
In the uk there is usually more time than people expect: the funeral is typically held one to three weeks after the death. Tributes for the service are delivered to the funeral director or venue on the morning, while sympathy flowers can go to the home at any point.
- As soon as you hear
A sympathy bouquet or card to the home shows you are thinking of them straight away. Keep it simple and soft in colour.
- When the notice appears
Check for "family flowers only", "donations in lieu" or "house private". Follow it. If tributes are welcome, contact the funeral director named in the notice.
- 2-3 days before the service
Order wreaths, sheafs or sprays with the funeral director or a local florist near the venue, giving the deceased's name, the funeral director, the venue and the time.
- The morning of the service
Tributes are delivered to the funeral director or venue an hour or so before the service. The funeral director places them around the coffin according to the family's wishes.
- Weeks later
It is never too late for sympathy flowers. Many families especially value flowers that arrive after the funeral, when the attention has faded, or on an anniversary.
What to write on the card
Funeral tributes carry a small card rather than a printed ribbon: a short message on one side, who it is from on the other. Keep it brief - it will be read by the family afterwards and should sound like you. Some common wordings:
The sender side: "The Smith family", "All your colleagues at Northgate", "Anna and Erik", "Your neighbours in Elm Road". If you are sending as a group, name the group, not everyone in it.
Which flowers are appropriate?
White and soft colours are the tradition, standing for purity, respect and peace. But there are no strict rules: if the person had a favourite flower or colour, that is often the loveliest choice - and unlike in southern Europe, chrysanthemums carry no funeral connotation here.
Works well
- White and cream - lilies, roses, carnations, chrysanthemums, callas
- Red - roses from a partner or the closest family (love)
- Their favourite - sunflowers, tulips, anything with personal meaning
- Green and natural - eucalyptus, fern, seasonal foliage
Think twice
- Bright orange and vivid yellow can read as celebratory - avoid if unsure
- Red from someone outside the family can feel too intimate
- Strongly scented flowers in small chapels (lilies are powerful)
- Ignoring "family flowers only" - send to the home instead
Sending flowers to a funeral in another town
It is easier than many think. For the service, phone or order from a florist near the venue, or ask the funeral director named in the notice to add your tribute; for the home, order a sympathy bouquet online with the family's address. Step by step:
- Gather the details
Funeral director, venue, date and time, the deceased's name and the family's address. Usually in the funeral notice.
- Choose what to send
A tribute for the service - see the rule of thumb above - and/or a sympathy bouquet to the home. Add a short card message.
- Order in time
Tributes two to three days before the service; sympathy flowers whenever you like, often for next-day delivery.
- Delivered for you
The florist delivers the tribute to the funeral director or venue before the service, and the sympathy bouquet arrives at the home. You are there even when you cannot travel.
Send a sympathy bouquet to the family's home anywhere in the UK - hand-tied and delivered with a card.
View sympathy bouquets →
Frequently asked questions about funeral flowers
What does "family flowers only" mean?
That only the immediate family will be sending flowers to the service. Do not send a tribute to the venue; a sympathy bouquet or plant to the family's home, or a donation to the charity named in the notice, is the right response.
When should I send funeral flowers?
Tributes for the service go to the funeral director or venue on the morning of the funeral, so order two to three days ahead. Sympathy flowers to the home can be sent as soon as you hear the news, or weeks later. Funerals in the UK are usually held one to three weeks after the death.
What is the difference between sympathy flowers and funeral flowers?
Sympathy flowers go to the family's home as a personal message of support. Funeral flowers or tributes (wreath, casket spray, sheaf) go to the service and are placed with the coffin. Many people send both. Read more in our guide to sympathy flowers.
Can I send flowers if I cannot attend the funeral?
Yes. Ask the funeral director to add your tribute, or order with a local florist near the venue, and send sympathy flowers to the home. Your card speaks for you.
How much do funeral flowers cost?
A sympathy bouquet to the home starts from about £25. Sheafs, wreaths and casket sprays for the service are priced by the florist or funeral director according to size, from a modest sheaf up to several hundred pounds for a large spray or lettered tribute.
